My husband informed me on Saturday morning, after a long, unhappy telephone discussion, that he is not interested in continuing with our marriage. Fortunately, by the time I spoke with him again on Monday, I had more or less decided that was the right choice as well. I’d heard one thing that made me think maybe he was reconsidering, but when that turned out to not be true, well, one person’s best efforts can’t make a relationship work when the other is unwilling.
I’ve been lucky in that I’ve received so much love and support from my friends and family. I had no idea I could expect that kind of response from people. I knew they cared about me, but, Wow, so much love. But now I have to figure out what I’m going to do, how I’m going to support myself, how I’m going to move on from this in the healthiest way possible and to create from the situation the life I want to be living. I’m going to try to come out of this without bitterness, without unresolved anger, to continue to be as open and available to the world as I can be. And to that end, and also because he’s not some evil bastard, just your standard, flawed human, I will not be using this space to vent about the situation. There’s no point in that.
On the other hand, I will probably want to explore my own discoveries and decisions here, and since there are so many of them to make, I might end up writing more than I have been. Who knows?
#1 by Amy Stephenson on January 26, 2010 - 10:46 pm
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Oh, Sally, I’m so sorry.
#2 by Eris on January 27, 2010 - 11:52 am
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I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry for your hurt, and the turmoil, and sorry that you have to experience this. You’re a resilient, intelligent, talented, warm and caring human being and your presence in my life (yes just via the internet) has truly given my strength and support for several years. My thoughts and hopes and prayers go out to you, please continue to be with friends and family and accept support and know that this will take time.
#3 by A Friend on January 27, 2010 - 12:36 pm
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Sally, I am so very sorry. I’ve enjoyed lurking on your blog for a few years now and I have enjoyed reading about your goings on. This news dropped my stomach to the floor and took my breath away for a moment.
Experience taught me that you CAN leave a relationship, not without pain and regret, but with no lingering anger. I encourage you to suffer as soon and as much as you can so that you may start your wonderful new journey that much sooner.
I am thinking of you and praying for you…and for Dave. Hang tough.
#4 by Sam on January 27, 2010 - 11:38 pm
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So sorry to hear about this my dear. My best wishes and prayers are with you in this tough time. You will come through it well. You are strong and loved.
#5 by Heather K on January 28, 2010 - 9:06 am
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You know already that I am sorry. And my wish is that this door closing opens the best of all the windows, lots of them.
#6 by HollowSquirrel on February 17, 2010 - 6:07 am
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Sally, I’m sorry for this upheaval. Ugh. I’ve been out of the loop reading blogs-wise, so I’m very sorry for me receiving this news late and not being “here” for you. I love you and think you’re an incredible person. I don’t know any more than you’re sharing with us here, but I know even if it’s the “right” decision, it doesn’t make it easy for anyone. Keep your beautiful chin up and know I’m here rootin’ for you in every aspect of your life in Chicago!!!!
#7 by Sara Jo on February 25, 2010 - 10:32 pm
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Sally, I’m so sorry I haven’t checked your blog in awhile and am behind on what’s going on. I’m so very sorry to hear of this news, but I know that you are a very beautiful, strong, intelligent, talented woman and will find the silver lining during this difficult time. If there is anything that Johnny and I can do, please me know. We love you and support you in everything you do. May this be a time when you can truly reflect on yourself and do the things that bring great joy and happiness. xoxo