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October 24, 2005
Monday Monday (dah DAH dahdahdahdah)
I’m writing from the best coffee shop in Moscow. I decided to give myself breakfast out as a special treat for 1) actually getting up in the morning and 2) having a killer rehearsal for my OSF auditions last night.
I’m working on a couple of things re: the auditions. A former acting coach of mine pointed out in August that for the first time since she’s known me, I wasn’t using my thighs for the Shakespeare. Since I was deep in the groin pull/jammed pelvis problem, it’s not surprising. However, I want to be sure that’s not happening now, that I am acting with my whole body, specifically my thighs (and Shakespeare is all about the thighs, baby), so I was doing grande plies while reciting my monologues last night. Feel the burn. Recite the Bard. Whoosh.
I am also working on honesty in my work. It’s taken me quite some time (and an interaction with that same former coach) to recognize/understand what this means. I’m good at presentation, at technique, at surface. Good enough to convince audiences that I'm feeling everything. I need to find ways to bring the core forth and be honest. And I know when that is happening. I can feel the truth when I let it out. So I worked really hard at getting there last night.
The monologue in question is one of Helena’s from Midsummer Night’s Dream. Though it’s a funny play, it’s not necessarily a funny monologue. She’s just been rejected by the person she loves more than anything. He’s threatened to kill her if she follows him anymore, and he’s left her in an enchanted forest, in the dark, alone. I wanted to make sure, though, that I wasn’t overdoing the “Woe Is Meeeeeee!” portion of the piece, since misinterpreting what is going on would be deadly, even in the name of honest emotion.
So when, after I had been working on it for about an hour and a half, Dave came into my office and asked how it was going, I mumbled in a way that suggested the work was troublesome. He said, “Would you like me to see it?” I hesitated while I thought about it. I hate showing my work to anybody before I feel it’s where I want it to be, but Dave has a good eye for the problem spots and a great sense of how to fix them. And if you can't trust your spouse to be honest and compassionate, you can't trust anybody. So I said yes.
I explained the piece for him first, my sense that it’s not funny until the reversal at the end, my concerns about going too far with the hurt and despair in a way that sabotages the ending or makes the reversal unbelievable. And then I did it.
He was dead silent while it was going on. I was so afraid that meant he didn’t like it, that I was going about it all wrong. But when I finished, he laughed. He did like it. And the one place I had trouble with, where I knew something else had to happen but didn’t know what that something was, was the one place he identified as being problematic. And then he explained how he thought it might be fixed. Not only was he right, but in thinking about it, I came up with a great way to solve the problem using that inner truth I'm trying to reveal.
I was exhausted after that, so I called it quits for the evening. But today is all about working stuff, people. I’ve got to be sure I can call on the emotional connections tomorrow evening when it counts. So I treated myself to breakfast at One World to be sure I would get my butt out of bed, but also to assure that I would not spend all day practicing avoidance tactics on the computer.
So that’s all you’re going to hear from me today.
Posted by sally at October 24, 2005 11:00 AM
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