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July 31, 2006
Arboretum Project, Week 29
Say it isn't so! Two weeks' worth posted in less than 24 hours? It's a goddamn miracle! (Or else it's just far, far easier to edit with Photoshop than with the software I was using before.) Anyway, these are the pics I took last week. WooHoo! (Now I just have to edit and post yesterday's and I'll be All. Caught. Up.)
Panorama 7-23-06
Since week-ago Sunday was set up to be a scorcher (104° F), I opted to go early again. Much the better choice. Due both to the relative coolness of the hour and the uninhabitedness of the Arboretum. Plus, it turns out I like the lighting. (Figures, that I would like morning light, light for which I have to get out of bed. Grrrrrr.)
However.
Shooting in the early(ish) morning did once again require avoidance of the sprinklers. (But that's what I loved about the winter photography. It forced me to be creative in my choice of subjects. So are the sprinklers and the limitation they place on where I can go and what I can shoot.) So some of these shots may seem a bit like the ones from the week before. Same subjects, etc. They're better than last week's, though. At least, the seeming duplicates are. I've had an extra week to consider the subject, after all.
Canada Thistle II
Feather Pods
It Rocks
(The above title is not my fault. It's Dave's fault. If you must groan about it, groan at him.)
Waving Blue
Root Knob II
Roadside Flowers
Clematis Wall
Duckling Voyeur
These are the nine ducklings I photograped/saw for the first time last Sunday (7/16). They were patiently, quietly waiting at the center of this tiny pond for Mom (who I'd seen winging frantically up the draw) to come back. I find this innocence heartbreaking. So much potential for pain. (And you wonder why I'm not planning on having children.)
Fiesta II
Germ of Truth
Exploding Blossom
Cock Pheasants
About halfway down the valley, I heard a pheasant. Loud. I hoped I'd be able to see this one, because I so very rarely do, even though I hear them frequently when I'm shooting on Sundays. I moved past a stand of trees and saw not one but two cock pheasants. They were eating and yelling. I don't think they were yelling at each other, they seemed quite comfortable together. I think they were just yelling because it felt good to be alive.
I took lots of pics of them, but this was the best of the bunch. I was zoomed all the way in, and so excited I kept forgetting to hold my breath when I took the picture. And when I tried to be all stealthy and get closer, they left. One flew off, squawking the whole time, and the other just wandered into the safety of the wheatfield. It was incredibly cool to see them both, though.
Cattails
Dappled
I took the above pic trying to capture the quality of the light filtering through the trees. I can't decide whether I nailed it or not.
Ground Cover
The above photo is another attempt to represent something that caught my eye. I love the ferny groundcover plants, but they never look right when shot from above, so I took a chance on a rabbit's-eye-view.
Proud Display
Where Next?
Grazing
This was the first of two different rabbits I saw that day. The other was much closer and much smaller. But the pics weren't nearly as good as this one.
Heavy Head
Late-Midsummer Color
I am really enjoying experiencing the change of seasons in the way this project has demanded. The alterations from week to week are so subtle. Until I compare them to each other. If it weren't for the photographic evidence, I'd never notice.
Hidden Falls
Turning Wheat
Starburst
Split Rail Fence
Posted by sally at 09:11 PM
Arboretum Project Week 28
Panorama 7-16-06
Two weeks ago, I got up early. I wanted to get the Arboretum photos taken before I had to drive to Spokane to get Dave. I'm glad I went. Not only was the light gorgeous, but I saw some stuff that I'd never seen before (scroll down to see what I mean). And, there was nobody else there. Bonus.
The only disadvantage was that the sprinklers were running. Which meant I stayed mostly on the paths. Not only did I not want to get sprayed with silage/reclaimed water by walking through the sprinklers, I didn't want to be surprised by them coming on when I was in the center of an open space, yards from the nearest roadway and engrossed in taking a closeup. So you'll see a lot more landscapes today than usual.
Arboretum Allium
Beauty
Cattail Peek-A-Boo
Title thanks to all those people who were talking about Siouxie and the Banshees on Dave Barry's blog.
Crookedy
Pond – With a Preview of Things to Come
If you look very closely at the upper and left sides of this image you'll see two things that I saw for the first time this week. A great blue heron standing in the tall grass on the bank (just up left of the silver tube thing), and a mama duck and nine ducklings (slightly left of and below the heron) swimming through the water. The birds were all far more relaxed this visit than they have been previously. I should go to the arboretum this early more often.
Ducklings in a Row
Great Blue II
Grass Plume
Early Calisthenics
I have no idea why the geese suddenly decided to start running and flapping. I only know that they did. (And that I am glad they were moving away from me.)
Floral Feathers
July Roses
Mace
Great Blue
Morning Creek with Cattails
On the Edge
Pastoral Scene
Rosehip
Pretty in Pink
Red Green Blue
Rowan Berries
Yellow Trio
Swainson’s Hawk
Ladybug-in-Waiting
I was trying to get a good closeup of a wheat stalk as the grains swelled. Then I realized there was a ladybug larva on the stalk I was shooting. That made the whole thing that much more interesting as far as I was concerned.
Yellow Poppy
Posted by sally at 12:17 PM | Comments (2)
July 30, 2006
Fashion Police Blotter: Citizen's Arrest
The lovely, kind man across the street is watering his lawn.
He's wearing a polo shirt, shorts and Tevas. With black socks.
Dave and I are thinking about staging an intervention.
Posted by sally at 03:34 PM | Comments (2)
My Dorky Valentine
I know the above title has absolutely nothing to do with anything, but it's what popped into my head when I saw the two photos below. I took them in my office on Wednesday. Every afternoon, Polyphemos heads to my office where he either naps on my desk, or, if that spot's taken, in my chair. I will get up to get some water and return to discover an orange bundle of nap in my seat, ready to defend its rights with teeth and claws.
Usually I give up and move to the couch.
This is what he looks like when he gets comfortable. I wouldn't call it comfortable, but he apparently likes smashing his face into things when napping.
And then, sometimes, after a good face-smashing nap, he'll stretch out and sleep like the dead.
Posted by sally at 09:28 AM | Comments (2)
July 28, 2006
Where Is My Place?
I haven’t posted for the past couple of days in part because I’ve been out, but mostly because I’ve been struggling with this issue. Whether to address it online, how to address it online, what I really feel/want to say about it.
It’s something that I’ve mentioned numerous times. I mentioned it in one of my jury papers to my MFA Committee. (It wasn’t well-received. A couple of my committee members took it as an insult, which was not my intent. It wasn’t about them, it was about me, but they didn’t see it that way.) One of my very first blog entries was about it, and it’s something I’ve wrestled with even more since I graduated. But I never had a way to ask the universe for it until this week.
A couple of days ago, I was doing a visualization exercise. The one where you stuff all your demons, all the shit that’s bugging you and you want to just get rid of into a box. Then you close the box and physically blow it away with your breath.
That part rocks. My box of troubles exploded. Like the Death Star. All shiny sparks and glimmerings of now-vaporized troubles.
The next part of the exercise is to call to yourself the things you need. (Because whatever you ask for, whether it be helpful or harmful, God’s answer is always, “Yes.” Remember that the next time you say something like, “My life sucks. I always get screwed over.” Or “This guy’s going to break my heart too, isn’t he?” God's gonna answer yes to those.)
I started calling for the things I need to be fulfilled and happy. I need… A community of fellow artists. Artists who get my specific yen. I need a theatre where I can be and work and play and study and grow and learn and explore. I need a school where I can teach. I need a set of friends I can spend time with locally. I need—
A place.
I need a place. That’s it in a nutshell. I need to find My Place. The trouble is, all I know about the location of my place is that it isn’t here.
The weird thing is how quickly I flashed on a similar moment from my friend Kate’s class. (She used to teach a 13-week course based on The Artist’s Way.) There was a moment, around Week Seven, I think, when she had us make two numbered lists. I dutifully wrote two sets of:
1.on a piece of paper. Then she gave the topic for List Number One. “List five projects you’ve never finished.”
2.
3.
4.
5.
Boy. That was easy. I could have come up with fifteen.“Now. List the reasons you never finished those projects.”
Okay. #1 was because I was afraid of _____You have no idea how disgusted I was to discover that fear was what had been holding me back for so long as an artist.
I never finished project 2 because I was afraid I’d _________
#3. I was afraid—
Hold on.
It’s all the same.
It’s all fear.
It’s all about the fucking fear.
That became my mantra for a while. “It’s all about the fear.” It’s one reason I duck my head and charge through things. Because of the fear. Because I don’t want to give in to it. But you can develop protective armor after a while.
Lately, battered and damaged as I have been by events in my artistic life, I’ve been letting the fear win. I’ve been not finishing things again. I think in part because I don’t feel grounded. And I don’t feel safe. I don’t have a home.Yes, I have a home I share with Dave and the cats, and it’s a safe and lovely place, but my house, my oasis of peace and security, is only 1600 square feet. And that includes the icky unfinished basement. Outside lies pain. Because I don’t belong here. Because this is not My Place.
I have spent the past year trying to figure out how to undo the damage done by some other suffering artists, both here and in Portland. Slowly but surely, I think I’m beginning to heal. (Interestingly, my horoscope zeroed in on the whole damage/healing thing this week as well.) In order to really be able to stretch my wings and try again, though, I need to find a community where I am truly at home. I need to find My Place. And it’s an awfully big world to go looking in.
If any of you out there have suggestions on how to find it (not where to go looking, but how to begin), I’d be forever grateful. Because I don’t even know how to begin to start the search.
Oh yeah. It needs to be Dave’s Place too. Or at least a place in close proximity to Dave’s Place. In some ways, now that he’s a working playwright, one space that has places for both of us will be easier to find. On the other hand, now that both of us are finally working artists, we have to make sure it’s somewhere that does have a place for each of us. (That doesn’t mean Dave’s leaving his day job, Mom, Dad, co-workers of Dave who read this blog. It simply means that he’s finally admitted he’s an artist and is feeding that part of himself. I don’t want him to lose it again, so we have to find Dave’s Place as well as My Place.)
Any thoughts?
Suggestions?
Job Offers?
Posted by sally at 05:27 PM
July 25, 2006
And All This Time, I Thought It Was Me
But instead, the reason I felt, as a friend of mine put it today, "like I have a hangover; only I didn't do any drinking yesterday," was allergies. The reason my brain isn't working very well is the same reason I feel vaguely depressed today and also the reason my sinuses are generating enough liquid snot to float the QE II. If I knew which now flowering/spooring plant was triggering this reaction, I would find it and set it on fire.
Instead, though, I think I'll go to bed. (I've already taken a Claritin and a split of Camas Winery's Pino Gris to numb the pain and make the hungover feeling worthwhile.)
But first, I leave you with the subject heading to a recent piece of email spam (as opposed to the people who want to promote various pharmaceutical and pr0n sites via my comments section). I realize they used a random word generator, but still, this is perfect:
Better Life, Wax-Covered
And a better, wax-covered life to you as well, my faithful readers.
Posted by sally at 09:58 PM | Comments (1)
I Just Paid Who?
Those who know me well know that I like to vote with my wallet. I don’t buy Nestle products if I can avoid them. I try to purchase organic, recycled and biodegradeable products whenever I can. I don’t shop at Walmart. I don’t buy a certain pizza because I don’t like where the company’s money goes. I avoid films by certain actors because I disagree with their politics (coughMelGibsoncough), and I don’t shop with certain local merchants because I also disagree with their politics, and the nasty way they have (like Mel, huh) of mixing them with religion.
I'm a Democrat and a capitalist, and as a good capitalist, I try to make sure my money only goes to people and organizations I support.
So imagine how appalled I was to discover yesterday that I’d given money to the Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh.
Those of you who lived in Idaho and Oregon, and perhaps other parts of the US, may recall the Rajneeshpuram in Antelope, Oregon, which more or less flourished there in the 1980’s. Until the Bhagwan was arrested for immigration violations and deported. I was in high school while this stuff was going on, so it’s all kind of stuck in my head.
Let me just give you a few of the juicier details in case you’ve forgotten:
• Poisoning salad bars in the town of Antelope with salmonella to affect the turnout for a local election. (Still the largest bioterrorist act in the USA.)
• Dissolution of the marriages of all his followers in order to promote his doctrine of free love.
• Requiring his followers to give up all their worldly goods. Which he used to buy a fleet of Rolls Royces (he had 90) and other toys.
• Bussing thousands of homeless people from other Northwest cities into Antelope, keeping them hopped up on drugs & beer long enough to get residency and vote in the city elections and then shipping them back home & dumping them on the streets.
Really lovely guy, the Bhagwan.
So how did I end up giving his followers money? That’s an interesting and roundabout story.
As part of getting ready to participate in National Novel Writing Month last November, I went looking for things I could use as prompts. And I came across a lovely set of Zen tarot cards. I’m not telling you anything more than that. I don’t wish to promote these people more than I already have. You can google them yourself if you're that desperate to know
These cards are gorgeous. The artwork on them is stunning. Very evocative. I hunted around until I found a set. They’re loosely based on Zen, loosely based on the tarot, but to be honest, I didn’t care about either of those. I was looking at the imagery. I figured it would be really helpful stuff. I could look at one of the pictures, study it and use it as a guiding idea for writing on days when I got stuck.
The only thing that I found odd was the addition of a card called, “The Master,” which shows this cute little Asian guy with a hat and a long white beard. It is, according to the included book, The Master himself, the one the deck was created by/named for. His name meant nothing to me. I did think it was a little odd, a little anti-Zen, if you will, to create a card for yourself in the deck, but I didn’t have to include the card in my prompts. And some of the stuff the Master supposedly wrote about the various other images was really helpful.
Then, a couple of days ago, I was talking to another longtime Northwesterner about these cards and he said, “Isn’t that the guy who used to be the Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh?”
I don’t know why I just assumed that after the criminal charges, deportation and death that the Rajneeshis would have dissolved and gone away. Possibly because they all left Antelope and I didn’t hear about them on the news anymore. But the idea that I had given money to a group of people who most assuredly did not need it really annoyed me. So yesterday I googled him. And sure enough. It’s the same damn guy. Well, his sect, anyway.
And even though they’re now in India (back in his hometown, where he ended up after no other country in the world would take him), they are still bilking people for money.
Including me.
I am keeping the cards. The imagery is still gorgeous and evocative. Though I don’t think I’ll ever be able to use them with the same openness of mind and heart I did before. There will always be the taint of the Bhagwan on them now. But I’m tossing the book. Well, recycling, really.
And the Master card? The one that I found mildly annoying when I thought it was just some random Eastern mystic? I’m cutting that one up. It doesn’t need to be in the deck at all. It’s a petty revenge, I know. But it’s all that’s left to me. It’s been almost ten months since I bought the deck. It’s not like I’m getting my money back.
Posted by sally at 07:53 AM
July 24, 2006
Missing Tags?
I stole this from Scat.
What? She said I could. In the entry. And it's not like anyone has ever actually tagged me. So I have to take what I can get to feel better about not having any friends.
(That's a joke. I have friends. I do.)
So. Living in denial here. Let's pretend I've been tagged by Scat. (Look, people, she said in the entry, to consider yourself tagged if you read it. Well. I read it.)
Nyah.
Take Four
Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. Actor (Duh.)
2. Assistant to the CEO of a small multimedia marketing company. That one was fun. I had my own company credit card.
3. Traffic Manager for a statewide public television system
4. University adjunct faculty
Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. Gosford Park
2. Shirley Valentine
3. Groundhog Day
4. French Kiss (I know! I know! It embarrasses me to admit it.)
Four places you have lived:
1. Tuscon, AZ
2. Tacoma, WA
3. London
4. Portland, OR
Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. Hockey coverage
2. I don't really enjoy tv that much. I find it a waste of time. (Unlike surfing the web.)
3.
4.
Four Places you have been on Vacation:
1. Laguna San Ignacio, Baja Sur, Mexico
2. Victoria, B.C., Canada
3. Ibiza, Spain
4. Denver, CO
Four websites you visit daily:
1. Blogs o'my friends (Read the blogroll. To your right. No. Your right.)
2. Smart Bitches
3. Amalah
4. Dave Barry’s blog
Four of my favorite foods:
1. Hummus from Ya Halla in Portland
2. Deep fried tofu with spicy peanut sauce followed by vegetables with catfish in oyster sauce from Kun Pic's Bahn Thai also in Portland
3. A good steak
4. Pizza (Which I can't have because of my stupid dairy allergy.)
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Oh. God. ANYWHERE. (As long as David is there too.)
2. Victoria, B.C.
3. London
4. On stage.
Four friends I am tagging that I think will respond…..
1. David
2. Desiree
3. Amy
4. GoodKarma (C'mon, Lady, I know you've got kids and two full time jobs. I don't care. Get off your ass and do some blogging. I'm dying for an update.)
Four Places you’d love to visit:
1. Paris
2. South Africa
3. Greece
4. That wild animal park/sea-world clone in Australia where you can pet a tiger.
Four foods you don’t like:
1. Fungus. (Puh)
2. Seaweed (Therefore, no sushi)
3. Innards (be they brains, digestive or other organs. And I have eaten them. In pie. In England. At the height of the "No, no, eating a cow that's eaten a cow couldn't possibly give you that weird disease" phase of mad cow PR.)
4. Fake cheese. (If I can't have the real thing, I'm not eating anything remotely like it.)
Posted by sally at 07:32 PM | Comments (2)
July 23, 2006
I'm Melting, I'm Meeeeelllllllting!
'Sssssssss haaaaaaaaht.
Which is completely different from hawt or hott. There is nothing sexy about this hotness unless, maybe you're Stella Kowalski, lounging about your grimy Nawlins apartment in a dingy cotton slip. (Or Persis Kinwellmarshe swanning around a filthy London apartment with 'a butt-end on her like a bumblebee' if you prefer Canadian novelists to Southern playwrights.) Last time I checked, it was over 103 degrees Fahrenheit on the back porch. I should add, by the way that the back porch does tend to get a bit greenhousey in the summer, so it may be a bit cooler than that, but only a bit.
The reiki seems to be doing its stuff. This is the first time in a long time that I have been antsy enough to try to find something to do, and couldn't just be content sitting in the living room (or bedroom or my office) playing on my computer. Why do I live in a place where the museums are all closed on Sundays? (And yes, there are museums here. A couple of them. All very small. I gave Dave a tour as we drove to Starbucks to relieve the monotony with an iced mocha.)
So anyhow, my energy levels are up, way, way, way up, and I begin to understand how depression might be a helpful disorder to have in a place where there is nothing to do on a Sunday afternoon when it's too hot to hang out in the yard.
Speaking of reiki, I am now certified at Shoden (Level I). I've been practicing on the cats, but don't really have a space/table for treating people. Though I now can. I've actually worked on three different human beings, all during the workshop yesterday. (They all also worked on me.) I need to figure out how to lull people into letting down their guard and allowing me to work on them so I can keep in practice. Though 1) there is nothing to be afraid of, since reiki cannot cause damage (unlike some qi gong forms if improperly handled), and 2) as of yesterday I can now practice reiki until the day I die. It doesn't go away, though I can increase my proficiency and the effectiveness of my treatments with time and further training. I'd like to work on students this fall, though. Maybe I can talk some of the actors in the program into getting on the table for me.
One of the most fascinating things about yesterday's classes was the change that came over some people once they got onto the table. One woman was a really stressed, apologetic, timid kind of person. Slightly annoying, but with a good heart. I treated her at one point, and she completely changed. Once she relaxed, she seemed like a much more grounded, much wiser being than when she was up and moving around. It kind of relates to something Jim (the Reiki Master who taught the class) said at one point. Reiki doesn't treat the personality, it treats the soul. From things she let drop yesterday, she's had a rough time of it and is only now really figuring out who she is, 50-some years into her life. If that's the case, it's not surprising that in action she's kind of jerky and hesitant, while during a treatment, she looks like some kind of wisewoman.
And completely off topic (I do mean completely), I actually saw the kind of red-headed wild woman I want to be. I was walking into downtown a couple of days ago when I passed this house I really love. The owner is a woodworker, and the front door is a carved woodland scene with glass. It's gorgeous. On the roof was a hennaed 40-something with hair flowing loose past her shoulderblades. She was wearing boots, socks, shorts and a tank top, and she was re-roofing the house. That's my kinda girl. What do I have to do to be that kind of capable?
Posted by sally at 01:19 PM
July 21, 2006
Arboretum Project, Week 27
Here's what was going on in the Arboretum a week and a half ago:
Panorama 7-09-06
Green Falls
Hosta Flower
Grounded
Tiger Pink
Twelve-Spotted Skimmer
Libellula pulchella
Lone Ash
Mexican Coneflowers
Not Sure Why I Took This Photo, But I Think It’s Kinda Cool
Clouds and Poplars
Hydrangea Poufs
Killdeer Parent
The above bird was doing all the "come get me I'm dying, please, please, please, follow me this way" behaviors that told me one of its offspring was nearby. I turned around, and this was directly behind me:
Killdeer Baby
Not Yet Amber Waves
This is what the Palouse is all about. At least, this time of year.
Goose Family Outing
Full Skirted
This flower made me think of Mexican dancers. You know, the ones whose full, ruffled skirts splash out around them as they spin?
Twins
Twin Stars
Western Pondhawk
Erythemis collocate female
Willowcreek Shadow
Mexican Coneflower
Pine Branch
Waterweeds
Levels
Levels II
Golf Course Pines
Sea of Green
Posted by sally at 03:52 PM
Is This Thing On?
Tap tap tap. Screeeeeeeeeee--
Ah. Yes. It is. Sorry about that. THE FEEDBACK HAS STOPPED. YOU CAN ALL--ah--You can all take your hands off your ears now.
Thanks. Right.
I have a proclamation to read.
(Just let me.. find my... glasses... What? Oh. Haha. They were in my pocket. Thank you.)
Ahem.
NOW HEAR THIS:
Announcing the birth of Prose Takes a Holiday. A play-along blog for those people who need a quick writing prompt fix.
Um. That's it. That's all.
No. Seriously. As you were.
Posted by sally at 11:57 AM
July 19, 2006
Would You Trust This Man with a Child?
Because that's what his wife's about to do. In October. When my nephew is born.
This is my brother the cinematographer. Who gets what he deserves for sticking his face into the camera while I'm trying to take a picture.
Posted by sally at 03:20 PM | Comments (1)
July 18, 2006
Arboretum Project, July 9
Oh. My. God. I don't know whether I took a lot of pictures or just a lot of good ones, but it's taking forever for me to edit the blasted things.
I don't know why.
Unless it's because I'm trying to do so many other things at the same time.
I promise I'll have pix for both the 9th and the 16th up before Saturday. I can make this promise because I'm finally almost done with the 9th--though not tonight--and because I was thwarted by sprinklers on the 16th, so my number of photos taken that day was limited. I didn't want to be soaked in reclaimed water. (And you wonder why the grass is so green in my pics. It's because the University of Idaho waters its greenspaces with silage. Eeeeeeeew.)
So much for my deciding to vary the time of day I photograph. If I want to get off the path (and stay clean), I have to wait until the watering is done.
*****
I must admit that I'm also still recovering from yesterday's reiki session. Though it's subtle, I have enough experience with energy work and the ways in which my own qi moves to know that things really got shaken up yesterday. I slept for almost nine hours last night, which is pretty unusual anymore. I'm feeling much more balanced in general, but also a little scattered.
Though every session is different (at least that's been the case in my experience), yesterday's stayed at a physical level. Some really interesting images were popping into my head, but every time I tried to follow them, I'd have a physical response which shattered my focus. (When I do reiki, much as when I meditate, my mind tends to wander a bit, but I let it, as long as the wandering doesn't lean toward worries and things I need to do/address later. I figure the images are important too, sort of like waking dreams.)
The physical responses were so distracting that I finally gave up and just focused on the physical. For instance, at one point, my sinuses started draining and I kept having to swallow. After a while, I realized that the swallowing was an attempt on my body's part to hold on to energy I needed to release. Once I focused on that, things got a little easier. But there was a lot of physical release happening yesterday.
As a result, I was feeling fairly busy, energy-wise, when he finished up, and I thought it was going to take me a few minutes to let stuff settle. And then he used a chime over my feet, and my qi got as riled up as I have ever experienced. It was like someone throwing rocks into a pond. Or maybe like a pond during a storm.
It felt like everything was shaken up and sloshed around. That's the best description I can think of. He did that over each of my chakras (plus feet and knees), and every time he hit that chime, everything got all active and sloshy again. Until the last two (forehead and top of head). Fortunately, things calmed down and leveled out and the last two chimes were quite soothing. Thank goodness. I was afraid I would be an emotional mess when I got off the table. Instead, I was calm and alert. But all that activity means things got agitated, like in a washing machine. So I'm not surprised I slept like I did last night. I just hope I can actually get up in the morning tomorrow.
I'm wondering whether there will be any emotional backlash. So far, there hasn't been. But I've stirred things up before and had something float up from the murky bottom two or three days later and burst on the surface in tears and shouting. Of course, those times involved a great deal more physical agitation along with a much less, shall we say, delicate approach to the whole energy work thing. Jiggawatts or The Kill, anyone?
Posted by sally at 09:24 PM | Comments (2)
Woogy-Woogy
It's amazing what the universe will give you if you just ask for it.
I've been struggling with depression for quite some time, as any regular readers of this blog know (I suspect the symptoms were obvious even before I admitted the problem). There are several reasons for this, but it basically boils down to the fact that I am stuck in a place where I have little access to the things that make me happy:
1) income
2) acting jobs
3) training
4) a peer group
and not necessarily in that order.
Plus, I am worried about future opportunities. I may rock as a speech teacher, and I suspect I'd be a good acting teacher for many of the same reasons (read: want the very best for my students and tend to love them like they're my babies, even the problem children), but that doesn't mean I'm going to get the job of my dreams right out of the gate. As money for the arts and arts education gets tighter, many schools are looking for people who have training in additional areas. An MFA isn't enough to get hired anymore.
Don't get me wrong. I can completely understand that a university would want their students to get as broad an education as possible. You want your alums to have the skills they need to be successful artists. But again, location has me stumped in terms of how to get additional stuff for my resume. Energy work is the thing that intersts me most, and though I would love to get certified in Wang Family Turtle Longevity Qigong, I'd have to go back to Portland for that and train for at least a couple of years. Which would be fine, except that I would like to be with my husband, who isn't available to go back to Portland for the next few years, because his degree program is here. (I mean, really, two weeks apart almost destroyed me, how could I do two years?)
But two weeks ago, I announced to the universe (and everyone who reads my blog) that I was depressed and that the only thing that really works for me when battling that demon is reiki. (The other thing that works is actively pursuing the things that make me happy, but see above list, not many opportunities for that here. God knows I've been trying, to the extent of adopting other artistic pursuits to satisfy the creative itch, saying yes to every opportunity that comes along, meeting other artists. It's just not the same as being an actor in a vibrant community, working with my peers and maybe doing some teaching.)
Then I discovered there's a reiki master living in Moscow. (When I told my skeptic husband about the local reiki master he asked, "Does this mean he's allowed to use a light saber?" Some days it's a wonder I allow him to live. But he worships me, and that's enough.) I met him--the reiki master, not my husband--at a local holistic fair and got a 15 minute treatment. I like the guy. I'm comfortable with him. He's local and he's reasonable, price-wise.
And he's not the "wooo wooo" kind of practitioner. You know what I mean, someone who's clearly not walking on the ground, barely attached to this reality. There are people I want to shake until they connect, people who give me the heebie-jeebies because they sort of float through life and are at least partly out of touch with humanity.
I don't think it's because they're attuned to a higher power. I think it's because they're either dumb, as in rock-stupid, or they're actively but unconsciously practicing avoidance. They've checked out of the real world because it's too unpleasant for them. They're the same kinds of people who make me consciously and actively avoid therapy. Not that there aren't good therapists out there, just that there are a lot of people who need to work on themselves before they go working on other people.
Discovering that I could work with this guy, and being a product of my www-shaping generation, I checked out his website. Which is where I discovered that he is training reiki practitioners. I asked him about it at my appointment last night. (It's amazing how different I feel after only two one-hour sessions.) And I am taking his class on Saturday. That's right, boys and girls, this time next week, I'll be able to include Reiki Attunement Level One on my resume. And if it proves to be something I jive with (and I think it will, based on previosu qigong and reiki experience), I could attain master level right around the time Dave graduates. Wouldn't that be a nice selling point.
Guess who I'll be doing my homework on. (I'll show you "light saber".)
Posted by sally at 11:31 AM | Comments (5)
July 16, 2006
Halfway Through
Working on editing pix. I'll post July 9th's tomorrow, today's a bit later in the week. For now, a retrospective of the past six months as they pertain to the Arboretum Project.
A little more than six months ago, I started the Arboretum Project. For 26 Sundays (and one Monday) I have spent a couple (or four) hours a day in the University of Idaho's Arboretum, photographing whatever took my fancy. And every week I have also taken a picture from roughly the same spot, trying to create a series of comparison pictures.
So. Here's what the last six months have looked like:
January 8
January 15
January 22
January 29
February 5
February 12
February 19
February 26
March 5
March 12
March 19
March 26
April 2
April 9
April 16
April 24
April 30
May 7
May 14
May 21
May 28
June 4
June 11
June 18
June 25
July 2
July 9
That's six months, folks. Pretty amazing. Both that I've managed to keep this project going that long and that you can see the changes happen.
Posted by sally at 09:01 PM
I Saw a Heron Today
A great blue, flying over my backyard. I was watering the plants on my back porch when I saw it. Gorgeous. And then it started calling, which is a wild sound.
Herons are lucky.
Dave is flying home today.
I call that a wonderful combination of ecstatic happenings.
Posted by sally at 09:32 AM | Comments (2)
July 14, 2006
I Have the Very Best Husband In the Whole, Entire World
And I can give you eighteen reasons why.
Eighteen reasons that were delivered to our front door this afternoon.
No, make that nineteen.
What can I say? Best. Husband. In. The. World.
I am so lucky. So very, very lucky.
Posted by sally at 08:11 PM
Arboretum Project, Week 26!!!
This would be the halfway Sunday. Two weeks ago. I can't believe I've been doing this project for over six months.
Panorama 7-02-06
A Gift of Flowers
I did not stage this photograph. The flowers were already floating in the lake. I just took a picture of them.
Adventure Beckons
All Your Geese In a Row
Bark II
Blue Sky & Treetops
Bridal
Bunny Stance
Ceremonial Grove
Country Crick
Daisyboat II
As with A Gift of Flowers from the top of the page, this daisy was just floating in the lower lake. I have no idea why the flowers were there. I suspect it was a memorial of some kind. I wouldn't be surprised if someone's ashes were spread in the arboretum and this was the family's final action. Or it could have been done for some other reason. There was certainly a ceremonial aspect to the flowers, though.
Daylily
Delftware
Pondhawk
Erythemis collocata
Fiesta
Hiding
Idaho Summer Color
Daylily Red
Golf Course
Lone Pink
Tomorrow, I'll upload a picture I took of this very same plant last Sunday. Only this last week, both flowers were blooming. Thank goodness Nature's not repetitive, even though I obviously am.
More Blue
Naps
I cannot believe how close I was to the geese when I took this picture. And the incredible part is, they came to me, not the other way 'round.
I've always been very circumspect around the geese because being chased away by a protective parent is not my idea of a good time. But I was chatting with a couple of other frequent arboretum visitors (Hi Dave & Veronica!) and the family waddled to within about 10 feet of us and settled down to sleep. It was pretty fucking incredible, let me tell you. Especially because they knew we were there. It's not like we were hiding. They could see and hear us.
I felt honored.
Purple Stalks
Can you spot the bee?
Sage Sea
Shady Streambed
Fiesta Flower
Toadstool Architecture
Three Sisters
Two (More)
Willow, Willow
Vivid Dancer?
Argia vivida female?
I can't identify this one, but I'd love to know what it is. Does anyone out there have any suggestions?
Posted by sally at 07:19 PM
T' Life o' Sally
I am sitting on my back porch.
It's gorgeous out here. The temperature is perfect, the sun is still blocked by house and porch roof, so unlike the situation in six hours or thereabouts, when the sun shines directly onto the porch (which faces west), the temperature is, well, temperate.
Some of my climbing roses are blooming. So is the lavender. The scents are gorgeous. Plus, there's a yard full of daisies, with a couple of cornflowers and some pretty yellow things, where once there was only gravel. (Though the daisies smell kind of like dog, so we won't put them on the list of gorgeous scents.)
I can hear birds singing, some traffic, the occasional piece of farm equipment, and Polyphemos, who is wailing at me through the windows that look onto the porch. He is Not. Happy. about me being out here and him being in there, and he is announcing it to me. Loudly and with great sustain through each of the three available windows in turn.
And I'm not even having the decency to ignore him. I'm talking to him, which I suspect only makes it worse, but how can I not respond to such piteous entreaties? Poor baby. He's dying, dying, because there's a screened window between us.
This is nice.
This is what summer is supposed to be like.
I can look to my left and see rust and orange pansies mixed with the deep purple of lavender, that same purple echoed in the HUGE clematis flowers next to my head. I can look over my right shoulder and see the green tomatoes burgeoning on my various plants, along with my blossoming bell pepper, crazy nasturtiums and gargantu-leafed basil. I can see sunflowers in various hues and sun tea brewing in pickle jars.
I can hear cicadas, and the occasional bee humming past.
And--Ooh! Is that mock orange drifiting past my nose? Some lovely scent, anyway.
This is nice.
This is peace.
Except, you know, for the squalling cat.
Okay. I have to get some actual work done here. Well, not actual work, since I'm taking the summer off. (I teach again in the fall, yay!) But I still have two weeks' worth of Arboretum pics to edit and post.
Though maybe I'll lean back and take a little nap first.
Who's to know?
Posted by sally at 09:20 AM | Comments (2)
July 13, 2006
Arboretum Project Week 25
Is HERE!!!
I know, it's three weeks late. Bear with me. I'm learning Photoshop on the fly.
Panorama 6-25-06
Inflorescence Becoming
Queen Anne’s Lace
Dancing
Dancing II
Lily Heart
A Walk In the Park
Cocky Robin
Cold Rush
Quiet Foursome
Rural View
Red Filter
Cactus Blossoms
I am just amazed at how such an inhospitable and threatening plant can produce such delicate flowers.
Cactus Blossoms II
Creek, Willows and Cottonwoods
Family Outing
I find myself wondering whether the goslings always swim in the same order, since I've occasionally seen them with one parent at each end. I always see them in a line when they're swimming.
Four
Tiger Lillies II
Glory
Green Cone
Succulents
Voyeur
King-Sized Dandelion
Visitor
Tiger Lily
Yellow Columbine II
Little Rapids
Something about the above photograph makes me want a beer. A Pacifico with lots of lime, to be precise. I have no idea why, though I suspect it might have to do with the sense of cold water on a hot day. Aaaaaaahhhhh. To have your feet in water that's slightly warmer than snow while the rest of you bakes in the sun, with Pacifico and lime dancing around on your tastebuds. I'm not sure life could get better than that.
Occupied
And as an added bonus for those of you who had the energy to scroll down this far, a reward. You survived twenty-eight photographs and this is my gift to you. You are among the brave few who deserve to learn a little bit more about me.
Today, I dyed an entire load of socks, underwear and towels PINK. But, sssshhhhhhh, okay? This is just between us.
Posted by sally at 11:17 AM | Comments (2)
Did Anyone Get the License Plate On the Truck That Ran Over Me
While I was sleeping last night?
I should start at the beginning. Two days ago (Tuesday), I dutifully got up at 5:30am and went to yoga. The instructor was on vacation, so the head of the wellness program at the University was supposed to teach. Only she thought the instructor was going to be back. Both women were out of town. Fortunately, one of the trainers in the building at that time is also certified to teach yoga and does on Monday nights.
I suspect her class is called Boot Camp Yoga.
I have never done such vigorous sun salutations. Ever. Nor have I ever felt quite so much like I was working out. I had broken a sweat within the first ten minutes, which is unusual for me. And afterwards, as I walked down the stairs, I had to hold onto the handrail because my thighs felt as though they could barely support me.
Let me clarify. She's good. She knows what she's doing. She started with breathing and ended with stretching and relaxation. Never did I feel compromised. It was just more energetic, more active than any yoga class I'd ever taken before. And it definitely worked me much harder than usual. It was kind of like yogarobics.
So as I'm tottering down the hall, one of my classmates is tottering right after me. And I said to her, "My thighs feel like jello," thinking that maybe it was just me. "No kidding," she said, "I've never felt like this after a yoga class." So I wasn't the only one, apparently.
And then I spent the rest of Tuesday cleaning Dave's office. You think I'm kidding, but he won't recognize it when he gets back. It was a very active sort of cleaning, kind of like the yoga.
Skip forward to yesterday. A bit sore in places from yoga (and also, I suspect, the cleaning). Apparently some of my muscles felt betrayed by the whole "Can you take that lunge deeper? Can you hold Warrior II for another three minutes? Carry that box up and down the stairs twice." thing. I had intended to clean the back porch on Tuesday, but Dave's office was the priority. So Wednesday was all about the back porch.
First, I removed all of the furniture. (One piece belonged on our "character patio" against the fence anyway, so I put it there. It's a rocking bench. Lighter than you'd expect, but still not featherweight.) I broke down all of the cardboard boxes that had been piling up and loaded them into the truck. I either tossed or recycled their contents. I put away things that had places to go. I swept the porch. Then I hosed down all the furniture, top and bottom, front and back. I went inside and closed the windows that faced onto the porch and then I hosed down that part of the house, washing all of the dirt and spiderwebs from the siding. And there was a lot of both. That's the part of the house that takes the brunt of the Palouse winds, and they blow a lot of dirt. So it was pretty nasty. Then I rinsed the porch itself and swept it again wet to get the last of the dirt off it.
While everything was drying, I drove to the recycling center and dumped all the recycling. We had enough cardboard from the back porch to fill one of the big recycling bins about 1/5 of the way and I parked roughly a mile from that particular bin. (Well, maybe not a mile. But all the way at the other end of the parking lot, certainly.) Then I went home and moved everything that was left back onto the porch. There's so much room out there now. It feels almost three times bigger than it did before. It's gorgeous.
That was my Wednesday. And I was so busy with all that, that somewhere in there I forgot to eat lunch. So I had an early dinner, and would have called it a night, but with one thing and another, I didn't get to bed until midnight.
When my alarm went off at 5:30, that's when I realized a truck had driven through my bedroom and run over me while I was sleeping. Everything hurt. I sat up to sort of get my bearings. (It was 5:30am, people! Do you know how early that is?!??) I woke up again a couple of minutes later. That's right. Woke up. I had fallen asleep sitting up.
I did not go to yoga after that. I promised myself I would do a workout that would be every bit as vigorous as Tuesday's had been, only later in the day. And then I went back to sleep. This time, I lay down first, though.
Posted by sally at 09:01 AM | Comments (1)
July 12, 2006
Because I Haven't Posted Any Pictures For a While
Though I am working on the whole Arboretum Project thingy right now. You should actually see some NEW! NEW! NEW! pix tomorrow.
In the meantime, enjoy this shot from my backyard.
Posted by sally at 06:54 PM | Comments (2)
I Couldn't Have Said It Better...
In yet another instance of "A Really Great Book I Just Read That Billed Itself As a Memoir But Is Probably Actually Fiction," I recently finished a book called Belle de Jour: The Diary of an Unlikely Call Girl. Just like with A Million Little Pieces, I thought it was a great book, written in an unusual style. I 'm glad I read it. And just like with Mr. Frey's book, I probably wouldn't have picked it up if I had realzed it was not actually a memoir, but more of a novel. In fact, Belle de Jour is quite possibly entirely fictitious, having actually, it is surmised, been written by a man. (The author is listed as anonymous.)
This stuff fascinates me. Both the fact that some novelists are calling their works memoirs in order to get published and the fact that I have now read two books that might not have otherwise piqued my interest because they're not the type of fiction I normally read. And yet, they are what I would call good books. Not only are they well-written and evocative, but they do (for me anyway) what good literature is supposed to do. They bring up issues I have to think about and tussle with.
And sometimes they just say something in a way I would love to be able to claim as my own:
...note to world leaders: in an age where the highest-selling female artist worldwide can drunkenly trip down the aisle in jeans and a garter only to have the transaction annulled twenty-four hours later, but committed life partners cannot call each other wife and wife, something is a little rotten in the state of Denmark. --from Belle de Jour by Anonymous
Exactly. Where are our priorities?
Posted by sally at 10:04 AM | Comments (1)
July 10, 2006
Six Month Slump
Okay. As far as the Arboretum Project goes, I am still going out and faithfully taking pictures each and every Sunday. Including yesterday. You may have noticed, however, that as far as posting goes I'm roughly 3 weeks behind.
There are two reasons for this:
1) Panic. Dave installed Photoshop onto my computer (and understand right here and now that I had been a pain about this for weeeks) and I suddenly realized I was going to have to figure out how it worked and then started worrying about fucking up my pix (even though I always save the originals under a different filename from the edits) and then I began to feel like maybe I was just a little, tiny bit over my head, technologically speaking, andthenitgothardertobreatheandIover
heatedandmybrainexplodedandIdecidedtonotdoanythingatallaboutiteveragain.
But now that I have what I wanted, I feel guilty about going back to the old way of doing things, with subpar software. So I'm currently choosing to do nothing. At least as far as the photos go. I haven't even downloaded yesterday's from my camera yet. I should do that. Eventually.
2) Aw, hell. Now I can't even remember what the other thing was.
Anyway, as soon as I get the other stuff that I currently consider to be a higher priority finished, I'll post the -- OOOOH! I REMEMBER THE SECOND REASON!
2) I'm about halfway through the project. I have toiled this far and now it's become so much work to get to the top of the hill, that I'm not yet at the stage where I'm enjoying whooshing down the other side. I've lost the momentum. Plus, I've been busy.
In other words, it's all about the fear.
Posted by sally at 05:36 PM
July 08, 2006
Conversations with My Husband
Dave's been in Washington, DC for the last little while. One of the reasons I drove down to Boise for the 4th. Normally, we have a big theatre people barbeque at our place on the 4th, but I wasn't about to throw one by myself.
Anyway, we talk a couple of times a day by phone, because we miss each other terribly. (At least, I know I miss him terribly. I'm assuming based on the conversations that he misses me by approximately the same amount.) The following is an excerpt from one of those conversations:
(Note: I was in the Mountain Time Zone. Dave was in the Eastern Time Zone. It was roughly 10:30pm where I was standing.)
Me: So, anyway, I really enjoyed lunch with Grace. And did I mention that I had this amazing egg salad sandwich?Dave: Oh. My. God. That reminds me. I had a revelatory sandwich today. Revelatory.
Me: Really?
Dave: Did you know that hard boiled eggs are fantastic on a sandwich?
Me: Um. Yes. Since that's the main ingredient in egg salad.
Poor Dave.
He's doing a two week playwriting workshop at the Kennedy Center and the schedule is beginning to take its toll.
Posted by sally at 03:06 PM | Comments (4)
This One's for You, Desiree
Original photograph by Sallyacious. "Touch-ups" by Dad. Bad photograph of photograph (still in frame and behind glass) also by Sallyacious.
Doesn't this just make you laugh?
Posted by sally at 02:39 PM | Comments (1)
Since You've Been Gone...
I don't know if you could tell, but I've been away for a few days. And when visiting my family, time for blog postings just doesn't exist.
On Monday morning, I boarded the two oldest cats with the vet and took off for Boise to visit family. My Aunt Sallyacious (I was named after her) was also staying at my parents' house, and she and my mother put together this amazing 4th of July tea. Because I am all about the food, I will share the menu highlights: strawberry cream cheese open-faced sandwiches; egg salad sandwiches on multi-grain with, of course, no crust (I made these); scones with clotted cream; bite-sized brownies; chilled strawberry soup (mmmmmmmmmmmmm); an assortment of tea breads; and itty bitty pigs in blankets with dijon mustard. 'Cause it's the 4th of July. You have to have hot dogs.
I took some pix of the spread because Aunt Sally's camera battery died, so check her site for them later. LATER, I said. I haven't even downloaded them from my camera yet.
Almost all of the family in the Treasure Valley came over for the tea. I got to see my brother and sister-in-law and their lovely dog. I just don't think there's any better breed than a Newf.
I also got to see my cousin Melanie, who was a year ahead of me in school and who, I now realize, is actually 40. Which just seems impossible because she looks almost exactly the same. Plus, I'm nowhere near 40 myself, so how could Melanie be that old? I love Melanie. She's a sweet, sweet person. And she's got a great family: a fabulous husband and two great sons. Also, a daughter who is bidding to be a rare handful and looks just like Melanie did when she was that age. And I don't care which age it is you're talking about. At that age, Melanie looked just like that.
Melanie's daughter is six. We are now BFF. I last met her when she was two days old, when I was in town for my brother's wedding. She decided I was better than okay, that I was a great person to talk to and to share things with, and at some point in the afternoon said, "You have to come to my house sometime."
What can I say? Animals and children love me. I think it's because I actually listen to them and take them seriously.
So anyway, lots of fun with family. And friends. I had lunch with a friend from high school while I was in Boise too. It was lovely. The last time I saw her was at her wedding reception. In 1986. We decided it needed to not be another 20 years before we saw each other again.
And I did some shopping. Because I cannot do that here.
I drove back yesterday, and the first order of business today was getting the two girls who were at the vet. I've been writing this entry while they settle back in and all four beasties get used to living together again. And because I was going to be gone for the better part of a week, there is no food in the house. Which means I haven't had breakfast. I'm walking to the farmer's market for a Wheatberries cinnamon roll and some coffee. Maybe I'll come back with veggies too.
Posted by sally at 09:41 AM
July 02, 2006
Thank You
For those of you who either commented or called in response to my previous post, thank you. I appreciate the thoughts and the concern and the love. It's going to be tough for a while, but knowing there are so many of you pulling for me helps tremendously.
I'm gonna go take pictures now. But I'll leave you all with an image that demonstrates (for me, at least) why there is still joy in life. (I apologize for the soft focus. I was on the phone and wanted to capture the moment before he got annoyed and left. It is not easy stabilizing a camera with one hand.)
Posted by sally at 11:09 AM | Comments (2)
©2006 - All content copyright Sally Eames-Harlan unless otherwise noted