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August 17, 2006

Here We Go Round Again

And so it begins. That time of year when everything speeds up and I lose huge amounts of weight because I'm sprinting all over campus expecting two small tomatoes and a plum to be a quality lunch. (I still think it should have been, dammit. It's not like I expected coffee to keep me going all day.)

The new GTA's are great. They're good people, caring people. They'll do right by their students, I think, and that's fantastic. I went out for a beer with a couple of them last night, and had a great time. And that was after working monologues.

This is how cool these people are, by the way. I HATE working monologues in front of my peers. It's a place of vulnerability that makes me crazy. I am so insecure when working a monologue that anything someone else says to me makes me cry. Good or bad. I turn into a wet, crying mess. No, I don't know why. I just know it's what happens.

Only last night it didn't. I watched everybody else's pieces, watched how they worked with each other, watched the gentleness and concern they had for egos and insecurities, and then decided I'd be safe. So I did a monologue. And I survived. And they didn't see the wet, crying, messy, insecure Sally. She chose to not show up last night, and that rocked. I cannot tell you how fantastic that was because there are not words. I think that it's at least partly because none of the people in that room had any place in the baggage of the last several years. I have no history with them. And so I can start fresh.

One of the new MFA's from last night is a directing candidate. I like his vision. I like his gentle and sensitive touch with actors. I'm going to ask him to help me work up a different monologue, I think, one I've been wanting to add to my repertoire for a while.

It's nice to think I could be part of a community again.

Posted by sally at August 17, 2006 10:36 AM

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