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August 03, 2006
Lying Fallow
Bear with me if this is impossible to comprehend. I wrote it in a dark corner in the coffee shop, in-between some fantastic conversations. The flow may be a bit odd, and my handwriting isn’t the easiest thing to read even at the best of times. (Even for me.)
I was walking to the local cool coffee shop and wondering why, with all of this time at my disposal, I spend so much of my summer break (or at least, my time off—if I’m doing summer stock I don’t have this problem until the season closes) slumped in a chair or on the couch, reading and/or web surfing?
Yes, I am still doing the Arboretum Project. Yes, I’m doing some writing. I’ve also been updating resumes and sending them all over looking for work for the spring. And right now I’m deep into The Right to Speak by Patsy Rodenburg, who has become my new hero.
But my garden beds need weeding and mulching. I have monologues to memorize and work and a play to get solid on so I can blow any possible competition out of the water should I make callbacks. I also cannot get my butt to the gym.
I’ve taken to walking to the coffee shop:
1) for exercise,
2) to get me out of the house, and
3) to get me off of the internet.
So I just take my book, a notepad, pen, highlighter and page tabs. At least this way I’m getting some reading done. (Also some exercise, thinking and writing, apparently.)
Anyway, I was walking here and wondering why I spend my breaks like a lump. I mean, what is wrong with me?
The answer popped into my head like a memo from God:
Date: 8/3/06*
To: Sallyacious
From: God
Re: Getting off Your AssYou’re lying fallow.
I stopped at the mouth of my favorite alley (I’ll post pictures here soon) to take the thought in.
But, I thought, I’m not really fallow. I mean, I am doing the Arboretum Project and I am doing some writing, but—
Trees don’t actually die in the winter. They’re still alive.
True. But I don’t go dormant in winter like trees do.
Right. Because winter is your busy time. Your creativity, by virtue of the cycles of the academic year flourishes in the fall, when you leaf out and flower. You nurture fruit all winter and spring, and then everything falls off in May. You go dormant in the summer. (Unless you’re working. Then, you go dormant as soon as you can for as long as you can. Even if it’s only two weeks.)
And really, it makes sense. Because trees don’t actually die in the winter. And dormancy doesn’t mean they’re not doing anything. They’re spending that time extending their root systems and storing up energy for their busy season.
Which is exactly what I’ve been doing this summer. I’ve been rooting. Not in this geographical community, but in the communities I’ve found online. I’ve rediscovered old friendships (sometimes they’ve rediscovered me) and worked to strengthen those. And I’ve found new friends along the way.
Not many of these are local relationships, so they’re not people I can go out for a drink with. But they’re becoming an important part of my support system. They’re becoming part of my roots.
As the school year creeps up, I’m beginning to feel the sap run through my creative body. I checked the Nanowrimo site yesterday for the first time in months. Today, I came up with the name and a hazy general concept for the novel: The Search for Herself. (Write what you know.) I’ve also started the above-mentioned Rodenburg book. So my brain is slowly warming itself up for the semester to come.
There may be something to this dormancy metaphor. And if there is, then what I am doing is may actually be a valid choice, not guilt-inducing slackerdom, which has been my main worry all summer.
*The voice of God is in bold face. Because, duh, it would be
Posted by sally at August 3, 2006 10:09 PM
Comments
Nice, nice
sugar & spice
and all things nice
bold would be because, ...
Yeah!
Posted by: Quasar9 at August 3, 2006 10:57 PM
Can I comment here? I wandered away from the house again like an Alzheimers patient . . . but I didn't bring along your email. You should wander over to my house soon. I'll get that blog addy to ya soon.
Posted by: tiffany at August 4, 2006 03:13 PM
hmmmm. I think the voice of God would actually be spelled out in flaming letters but for lack of said font (you totally have to get the windows upgrade only available to God, duh) I think bold face will work.
As for guilt inducing slackerdon versus a congnizant choice? We all ebb and flow. You can't force what won't happen , maybe this was an important time for something you haven't even thougt of yet, but you'll look back and think, yay, I see the reason now.
Eh, I'd throw in some metaphor about new leaves and blossoming and stuff here but I'm not that poetic so imagine that it was really good.
Posted by: desiree at August 7, 2006 11:29 AM
Desiree, you are so right. It should have been the flaming font. I wish I was important enough in the grand scheme of things to have access...
Posted by: Sallyacious at August 7, 2006 09:28 PM
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