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May 21, 2007
Quieter
I went grocery shopping yesterday afternoon. It was quiet in the store. With little clumps of worried people here and there. Talking and frowning. An undercurrent of fear and worry. Not, I think, because anybody thinks there's another shooter out there, just because Saturday night's events aren't the sort of thing that happens here. And now the real world has intruded and our peace has been violated.
The caretaker for the Presbyterian church was a friend of one of our favorite barristas at Starbucks. She's a mess. I feel so bad for her and for all those who knew and loved both him and Officer Newbill. Though I didn't know either man, by all accounts they both deserved better deaths than they experienced.
I also feel a great deal of pity for the gunman (whoever he was) and his family. When we as a society disallow every emotion for men except anger, I don't know why we're so surprised when they explode with rage. I don't know what happened to him to put him in a place where the events of Saturday night seemed like his only option, but he must have been in agonies. I don't think he could possibly have been sane, his actions were not those of a rational person.
I am not in the least trying to excuse him. I hold him fully accountable for his deeds. But he must have been in terrible emotional pain to lash out the way he did, at both his victims and himself. And for that, I'm sorry. So I do pity him, and his family. Not only do they have to suffer his loss, they suffered the pain of living with a soul in torment while he was alive, and now they have to deal with the shame that must come through knowing what he did to our community. Even if there was nothing they could have done to prevent it.
It's just sad all around. If we could just start caring for each other instead of trying to control our fellow human beings with rigid and unbending standards that are impossible for fallible people to meet, perhaps then we'd see a drop in these kinds of crimes. Maybe loving acceptance of each other would ease the pressure that causes some minds to snap when the load becomes too great. I think we're living the inevitable results of a polarized society. In which case, our leaders, those whose election strategy is divide and conquer, have a great deal of explaining and fixing to do.
Posted by sally at May 21, 2007 09:21 AM
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