Sallyacious

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August 17, 2007

I Am Average

Don't ever expect me to use that descriptor again.

It does, however, apply to the topic at hand. Did you know that the average American woman is a size 14? The size clothing manufacturers describe as "Extra Large"? The size that often gets shoved out of the "standard" clothing section and into "Women's", where caftans, polyester and shame abound? Except that apparently, it's not abnormal and freakishly large. It's average.

I'm taller than average. I'm 5'8", whereas the "average" height for American women is 5'6". And yet I'm still a 14. And I've felt bad about that number forever. Because that's a fat person's number. And fat = hideousness. Fat people are lazy, greedy and useless.

And I am not suggesting, let me make that clear right now, that women who do struggle with obesity are any of the above things. That is my internal monologue re: what being fat says about me. Oddly, I don't actually apply the same criteria to anybody else. I assume other people are grappling with much greater issues than my own and cut them some slack. (Unless you're one of the lazy, greedy, useless dickheads whose actions make those aspects of your personality quite clear. But those come in all sizes. Often, I've noticed, they're mulleted.)

Let me be the first to admit that I could stand to lose about 20 lbs. There is a bit of a wobble to my chin, I'm kind of jowly, I do not like the thing around my middle. But I'm working on it. Not as hard as I should be, perhaps, but I'm slowly changing my lifestyle to make it possible. Less driving, more walking, regular gym visits, better diet.

And I haven't made it to this shape (or lack of) because of laziness. I've been so fucking busy for so long that I haven't had time to do the grocery shopping that would allow me to eat better. Or the time to actually prepare meals (or the desire, really, but that's a different thing altogether). There's also the blown-out knee and the ensuing messed-up back that took a long time and more lowered activity levels than I was really happy with (or helped by) to heal.

Also the ever-present asthma.

But. Even though I'm not in the best of shape, I was shocked to discover that I'm average, and that despite that being the case, the American apparel and fashion industries have teamed up to make being a normal-sized woman a hideously shameful thing. How many women know that? Know that they are a perfectly normal size? How many women instead think that normal means approaching skeletal? I mean, where the fuck do these people/companies get off? How have we let them get that far into our heads?

I know that the media and various corporate entities are responsible in large part for the rise of eating disorders and body dismorphia. I know that. I've known that for a long time. I know that designers want models who are built as much like clothes hangers as possible so that their stuff looks as good walking down the runway as it does hanging from a rod. But to turn normal into the equivalent of moral depravity? If that's not an example of hating women, I don't know what is.

Posted by sally at August 17, 2007 09:59 AM

Comments

Posted by: Maaike at August 19, 2007 05:44 PM

Posted by: Sallyacious at August 19, 2007 07:00 PM

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