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October 28, 2007

A List of People I Would Like to Kick in the Teeth

1) The person who nodded and smiled and seemed to be enjoying our conversation who then turned around and posted in her blog about how little I know about a given topic. Rather than listening to me, as I thought she was, she assumed that because I am an actor, I am stupid. (I know she didn't listen because what she said about the discussion made it quite clear that she'd missed my main point. And I know she thought I was stupid because she more or less said that as well. Sweetie? I can follow a hyperlink with the best of them.) I got an A in Jazz History. And I am not a musician. I am not stupid.

2) The student I saw walking down the street in costume the other night. Honey, I don't need to see your bare ass. In October. When it's below freezing. And it was pretty clear you don't usually wear heels that tall. I'm assuming your costume was "Skanky the Pirate Ho" because that's what you looked like. Have some self-respect. Or don't take it personally when guys assume you're just a piece of ass; that's how you presented yourself. Don't get me wrong, if you're in it for the quick and dirty, more power to you, may you get what you want. But you seemed to be much more the, "I'm looking for Prince Charming" type. You're not going to find him while you're dressed like that.

3) The person who wrote and sent an anonymous letter that destroyed a friend's life recently. You? I don't want to just kick you in the teeth. I want to slap you around a bunch. Hard. Real people were hurt by your actions. Real people who didn't deserve to be hurt like that. You are among the lowest of the low.

4) The skateboarder dressed all in black who was riding down the middle of the road in the dark. I saw you because my headlights reflected off the nape of your neck. Which you then very stupidly covered with a black hood once you realized there was a car behind you. Were you hoping to get hit?

5) The U.S. Senator from our great state who has managed to make us even more of a laughingstock than we usually are. Thank you so very much, sir. You have no idea how very much I enjoy knowing that you love the power so much that you won't keep your promises. You've lost your seniority. You've lost your appeal. You've lost the respect of many, many people, both here in Idaho and around the U.S. RESIGN ALREADY. Like you said you would.

6) The Slowest. Cashier. In. The. World. I am now convinced that you secretly move to the register for whatever line I am standing in. It can't possibly be me. Not Every. Single. Time. I go to the store. What did I ever do to you?

And I think that about covers it. For now.

Posted by sally at October 28, 2007 06:56 PM

Comments

Ooooh, I saw Skanky the ho-bag mechanic this weekend! Also a scary bunny (regular bunny costume, being very strange outside the window of the restaurant) and the whole posse of bad guys from the Karate Kid.

Also, as for said senator, I think you may be missing the point. If he resigned, people might think he was gay. No one can think that about him, ever, EVER--as evidenced by the sheer tonnage of effort being thrown at dismissing that idea (I mean, really, the Mrs. discussed the look of the private business with Matt Lauer on Dateline!! !). I could only watch snatches of that interview because it was making me bounce up and down out of squirminess, the private bits discussion sent me over the edge!

Posted by: fire4hairlady [TypeKey Profile Page] at October 29, 2007 10:18 AM

I hadn't thought that resigning would announce irrevocably and forever that he was gay. I thought it would point out that he was adult, responsible and a man of his word. Apparently those things bow in the face of "I am not gay!"

Did you know that he is apparently the #1 choice for Halloween costumes in D.C.? Yes. I don't remember where I read it, somewhere online. There was a list of ways you could go as "Larry Craig". My favorite was to dress in a suit and carry a large copy of the Senate seal around with you. Announce every so often that you'll be letting go of it soon and then be sure to maintain a death grip.

I need to get candy. I wonder if we'll have trick or treaters this year.

Posted by: Sallyacious [TypeKey Profile Page] at October 29, 2007 06:20 PM

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