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January 20, 2008

Free

And I'm not sure why. Today, though, I've been able to loosen up, let go, and so far begin and complete four art projects. When I haven't done anything artistic or creative (except for take a couple of photographs) in weeks. And after I was done with the drawing and the painting and the writing, I changed the sheets and sorted the laundry.

Maybe it's because I'm feeling better. I have some energy, so I'm not just lying on the couch like a lump. Maybe it's because I got some work done for school so I don't feel like a loser who needs to be doing other things instead. Maybe it's because I promised myself one day to play on this 3-day weekend and didn't make it contingent on getting the grading done. Maybe it's because I bought new art supplies (a set of glitter watercolor paints and some brush-tip markers for less than $5 out of the sale bins at Office Despot) and just had to play with them.

I don't know what it is, but I've ben able to experiment today like I haven't in a long time. I've been able to mess around with oil pastels and construction paper and find out what happens if I put a watercolor wash over marker & colored pencil. I've been able to write a lot with my new pen. And none of it has felt forced or restricted or stupid when I've fucked it up. I've just been able to play, and it's been good.

In fact, the plan was to do a single drawing which I've been thinking about for some time. And then, when that was done, I felt compelled to do another. Which was okay, given that I'm supposed to be doing a series on a given topic anyway. And as I was writing about the fact that I both wanted to and did do a second piece, I knew how I wanted to approach pieces three and four. So when I was done writing, I did them. It never happens for me like that, and I am thrilled that it has. I wish I could figure out the magic formula so I could trigger it again when I wanted to.

Posted by sally at January 20, 2008 02:07 PM

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