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March 23, 2008
Unconscious Mutterings # 268
Week 268
I say ... and you think ... ?
- Money :: Money Money, ABBA, adverbs
- Unhappy :: sadness, depression, greyness, me
- Joking :: ha ha, cruelty, Snap!
- Chipmunk :: Chip & Dale, Disney, strippers
- Date :: time, calendar, special, dress up, late night kisses on the porch
- Slideshow :: Grand Canyon, California, bad color processing, trips, camping, snow on Father’s Day
- Chicago :: Bears, Bulls, Bean, Becca
- Lifetime :: TV, soap operas, Oxygen
- Skid row :: bum, restaurant, Bowery, Hell’s Kitchen, Seattle
- Edward :: Scissorhands, II, garden, Shakespeare
Yes. I know I'm depressed and halfway to insane. You do too now, after getting this peek inside my head. What an unexpected mix of images and emotions.
As I was making the lists, I was really surprised at how much of a slave to popular culture I am. I mean, look at the number of things that have to do with commercial enterprises and/or the media. I don't follow basketball or football, really, nor do I watch Lifetime TV or the Oxygen Network, and yet they all popped into my head right off the bat. Even if I'm not choosing to put them there, they're there.
By the way, I originally read Slideshow wrong and had the following responses to my inital reading:
Sideshow :: Bob, tattoo, freak, odd, imperfect, humanity
The tattoo part comes from this amazing book I read a couple of years ago called The Electric MIchaelangelo, about a freehand tattoo artist from England who sets up shop in Coney Island. It's gritty and bleak and fantastical and horrific and deeply satisfying. It made me think long and hard about why I have my tatt and whether I want to either embellish it or get another. I do, want to do both, actually. I'm just not sure it's a good idea for an actor to have too much ink on her body.
I knew I was flirting with depression again yesterday when I spent the entire day sitting on the couch surfing. Well, not the entire day. I took some photos and did a little writing, but mostly, I was a lump.
That's always a bad sign. Some of it can be excused, chalked up to the cold I've been healing from, the tremendously full and busy week that was last week and the fact that even if I went to bed before 11 last week, I still couldn't get to sleep before 2am. For no apparent reason. I just couldn't. So I've been tired and sick and I allowed myself yesterday on the couch as the day I should have had earlier in the week to just deal with my cold by letting my body rest. And I do feel much better physically this morning. But my mood matches the greyness outside now, and if it hadn't been for the word association above, I'm not sure I would have noticed. I did, though, so now I have to do something about it. Art or weeding is my first preference, though I should probably do some work. Because I have got grading to do...
I have so much grading to do. Not because it actually needs to be done this time, either. This is a self-imposed grading task I'm talking about here. I have opted to do some really serious copy-editing of a set of student papers, complete with full explanations, so that they can see--should they take the time to--how to make their writing stronger. Instead of five minutes each, they're taking ten to fifteen minutes each to grade. And there are over thirty.
I dreamed about them last night. Not a good sign. Not a good sign at all...
Posted by sally at March 23, 2008 10:00 AM
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