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March 31, 2009
Can We Talk About the Weather?
So. Yesterday was about melting snow. A goodly amount of melting snow. When I walked home from rehearsal at 11pm, the snow was still melting. I know this because the wet bits of the sidewalks were still wet, not icy. There was hardly any snow left when I got home.
This morning, it is snowing again. And by snowing I mean that it was snowing fairly hard when I got up an hour and a half ago and the only thing that has changed is that the flakes are larger and so cover more ground when they land. Not larger like that beautiful fluffy snow in big flakes that is magical both because the flakes are so huge and also because you know their size means it's almost too warm to snow. No.
These flakes are nowhere close to that big. They're the kind of snowflakes that indicate the storm is settling in for a while and you might want to go out and shovel the walk soon.
I feel kind of bad, spending all this time complaining about the weather. It seems to be my only topic of conversation right now. At least here. But I have a sneaking suspicion that's all I write about in March. Because I'm so ready for it not to be grey and cold and snowy anymore because it's been that way since November, and by now I need sunshine and warmth on my shoulders, and the weather proves recalcitrant beyond all comprehension and refuses to do anything but more of the same stuff it's been doing since November. And all I can do is sit and glare at it through the windows.
At least the roads are still clear.
I may also focus inordinately on the weather in March because Nothing. Else. Is Happening. in my life in March. I mean, we're smack in the middle of the semester, so it's all about the academics. And the middle of the semester kind of academics, so there aren't any fireworks or exciting moments. It's simply busy. Which is fine. I'm not complaining about that. It's just not the most interesting time of the academic year, so it doesn't lend itself to blog entries.
We did start rehearsals on Sunday night for the play Collected Stories, which will be going up the 2nd weekend in May. May 4-7 or something like that. I'll be more specific when I know for sure.
I'm very excited about this play. David is directing, and the woman I'm working with is showing a great deal of promise. Dave had to be somewhere else last night, so our rehearsal consisted of us reading the play aloud. Twice. Both times it ran 1:50, and that's without any of the stage directions. It's a talky little play, but so good.
I'm also terrified. My role is daunting. I'm not sure I'm capable. But we'll see.
Right. I'm going to go out and start the car now. Because I can't just stay in here and keep the weather on the other side of the windows. Oh no. I get to go out into it and drive and walk places. Wheee.
Posted by sally at 08:01 AM | Comments (3)
March 30, 2009
Not Much to Report
Still pretty average days here. I'm working like a mad thing on research and my lines for Collected Stories. (Tentative performance dates the last weekend in April, but that may change). The snow has not all gone away, but we can see things like crocuses and tulip and daffodil leaves above the snow again. Even grass in some places. And that's pretty much that.
Oh. There is a new post on Chicagosity, by the way. My plan is to post there every Sunday, but of course I didn't get to it yesterday. I actually posted this morning instead. What is it that Robbie Burns said about plans?
Posted by sally at 02:01 PM
March 29, 2009
And. It's. Still. Snowing. *Updated*
April is three days away.
April first is the studded snowtire removal date for the people across the border in Whitman County.
Tomorrow, I have to drive 90 miles to Spokane to have the car serviced.
This had better be gone by then, is all I'm saying.
**UPDATE** - Then again, maybe I should stop complaining.
Posted by sally at 07:54 AM | Comments (4)
March 28, 2009
March 28, 2009 **Updated**
It is snowing.
Hard.
Sigh.
**Update** 11:52pm - We now have about two inches of snow on the ground. And it's still snowing. In case you weren't aware, April starts on Wednesday. Someone needs to explain that to whoever it was who ordered the snow.
Posted by sally at 03:36 PM
March 27, 2009
Mild and Petty
I haven't posted recently because I haven't really had much to post about. My days have been filled with mild joys and petty annoyances, like most days are for most people, I would guess. Nothing to write the Internet about. And when I haven't been (mildly) joyful or (pettily) annoyed, I've been WORKING. Good God. Like Spring Break is only a distant memory working. Like 16 hour days of Go-Go-Go. And next to none of it art. (Though some of it was exercise.)
So that's the reason for the not much posting that's been going on around here. It may be like that for the forseeable future, because I've got a lot of work coming up and not a whole lot to say about it. Except that we start rehearsals for Collected Stories on Sunday and I'm very excited about that. I think we go up the first weekend in May, but I'm not quite sure. It may be my last production in Idaho (depending on whether or not I've been cast in anything at IRT) before I take off for our new home city.
Anyway, lots to do. Cleaning, rehearsing, teaching. Someday I should probably look into tidying up the yard...
Posted by sally at 03:05 PM
March 23, 2009
Chicago Dreams, Part 1
Last week I mentioned I was doing a lot of painting. Much of that was pages for my art journal, finishing some, adding to some, starting some. I had a goal of finishing five pages on Tuesday. I finished three. It's kind of frustrating, but many don't feel complete yet, and I'm waiting for inspiration to strike to tell me what else it is they need.
I was also finishing up a painted book I started last summer, a book about last summer, specifically my ten day jaunt to Chicago and Palm Springs. I'm teaching my students how to bind their own books tomorrow, as part of a project where they create a personal memoir, and I wanted it done so I could use it as an example. It's still not finished, but it's next on my list after this entry.
That, however, is not what this entry is about, that's all just by the way stuff.
I was working on a new book last week. Chicago Dreams. It's not yet complete, but that's because I have to do the inside now. I had an idea about part of it this morning, and I'm hoping to find the time to work on it today. (After finishing my painted book and cutting binding twine for my students and grocery shopping and a workout and... Yeah. I miss Spring Break already).
I was inspired by an article I saw in the latest issue of Somerset Studio. A group of nine women got together to create what they called diva books. They wrote out their personal hopes and dreams on both sides of a large sheet of watercolor paper. Using permanent ink. Then they masked off bits with tape and painted both sides of the sheets. The next step was to tear the sheets into nine pieces of equal size. They stacked those pieces and then each woman took one piece from every stack. They bound those together into accordion books using decorative tape, and then they decorated their new books. So each woman had a book made up of pieces of every other woman's hopes and dreams as well as her own.
I wanted to do that, the exercise really spoke to me, but I didn't have a handy group of fellow female artists to work with. (The process takes a fairly good amount of time, what with the drying that has to happen in-between steps. I worked on this book much of the day on both Monday and Tuesday. The women in the article got together for a weekend.) So I decided to do a book about my hopes and dreams for our move to Chicago. The things I really want to have happen from that life shift. The following images are from that process.
This is what the page looked like before I painted it. Not only did I write out a whole essay, I also used an eyedropper and ink to write the important words larger. The paint around the edges is because this is Side Two. I forgot to take any pictures of Side One pre-painting.
Here's a closeup of the text.
This is Side One with the masking tape on before I painted. I "fuzzed" the tape first by sticking it to my clothes so that it would come off again more easily later on in the process.
I applied the paint by squirting it out of the tubes onto the page, and then used a credit card to spread it. This is where I really got a sense of the difference in quality between the brands and types of paint I was using. During this process, I developed a decided preference for Utrecht paints. Too bad I can't just walk into a store and buy them here. (Have I mentioned that I'm looking forward to moving to Chicago?) I would also just like to mention here that this step is the reason it's best to do this work with acrylics. Because of the drying time between coats of paint.
After the whole page was covered in paint, I started removing strips of masking tape. But I was selective about it. I would remove some and then add some more paint. I'd let that dry and then remove some more tape. So my page had layers and layers of paint.
This is what the two sides looked like after they'd dried. They remind me of stained glass, which I wasn't expecting.
And here's what the "delight" section I posted above looked like thanks to the masking and the layers.
Then, since I wasn't using a deckle-edged paper, I cut them up into fifteen 3" x 4" pieces. I love how some of the words ended up having their own pages.
I've also taped them together with decorative tape, but that's not been the success I was hoping for. I have to fix that before I can go on to creating the inside. Which is what I'll do after I finish the other painted book and go shopping and get all of my stuff ready for tomorrow. I'm so antsy to work on this book, but that other stuff actually has a deadline, and I have to honor that or I'll get all caught up in the work again and it will be midnight before I know it.
Posted by sally at 12:46 PM | Comments (8)
March 22, 2009
Reading with Grandma
I didn't take many pictures this trip to Boise. Kieran is more active now--being 2½--and therefore harder to catch in a photograph. But on Thursday morning, he settled down in the chair with Grandma to read...
Posted by sally at 03:33 PM | Comments (3)
New Life
In the interests of getting my butt out there to explore my new city (once I actually get to that new city, of course), I have started a new blog. Chicagosity. The goal is to provide weekly(ish) posts about my adventures in my new home. I'm trying to ensure, you see, that I actually get out the door and into life there, and so I'm making myself accountable for this by promising to share those discoveries with you.
Topics I hope to cover include:
∗ Good Local Markets
∗ Museums/Galleries/Zoos, etc.
∗ Theatre (of course)
∗ Jazz
∗ Events/Festivals/Happenings
∗ Neighborhood Life
∗ Parks/Lake Michigan/Outdoor Stuff
∗ Bakeries/Restaurants/Other Food-Related Situations
∗ Really Great Shopping Experiences
I don't expect Chicagosity to become any kind of definitive guide to the city. In fact, given my propensities, it will probably be a lot like my London travelogue posts, in which I don't stick to any kind of time frame or structure that makes sense to anybody but me. What you're going to get is my view of Chicago as I poke around there.
So to all of the Chicago residents who read this blog, I would love some suggestions for places to put on my to do/visit/eat/hear/play list.
Posted by sally at 11:56 AM
March 17, 2009
Break
I have been taking the concept of Spring Break seriously. Especially for the past three days. Sunday-today? I've done very little besides art. I'd show you pictures, but I'm really tired and not in the mood to upload photos (which reminds me, I need to scan some more journal pages, but not tonight). But I've been working on books: journal pages, the completion of a painted book and the basic construction of another painted book, this one an accordion binding.
I have been literally getting up and beginning work in my pajamas, painting away until I get to a good stopping point and then changing into more suitable clothes for daywear, painting, gluing, cutting, planning, etc., and then wondering why I'm suddenly so tired and realizing that I've either missed a meal or that it's almost 11pm. It's been heaven, and I wish I could get myself to this place during the rest of the year, but I think it's the complete absence of teaching responsibilities that makes it possible. Apparently I can't obsess about art if I'm obsessing about my classes. And yet, I'd love to be able to just take Saturdays and do this kind of stuff all day.
Anyway, I'm doing the other Spring Break "thing" tomorrow and flying down to Boise for a few days. Dave, bless him, is being a homebody, so we don't have to worry about the cats, and I can focus on the nephew and the rest of my family. I probably won't post while I'm there, since I can never remember how to log into my blogging software remotely, so this will have to do until Sunday.
Have a lovely week. I certainly have so far.
Posted by sally at 09:53 PM | Comments (2)
March 15, 2009
Aftermath
I did a lot of painting today. This is what the catalogue I used to protect the countertop looked like afterward.
Posted by sally at 10:41 PM
Dead Right
I do a lot of things to keep myself amused/busy/sane. Since I've lived in this town, I've picked up teaching, photography, fiction writing, blogging, painting and the book arts, all to keep me from losing my mind from the isolation and loneliness. But deep in my heart of hearts, I'm still an actor. It's the root, heart, soul and center of who I am, and has been ever since I first set foot on a stage. That is, of course, the main reason we are leaving this town. Because there's just not much opportunity for me to be an actor here.
In the dark times, in the really really awful "I think I might actually be better off dead" times that I've struggled with since we've lived here, whenever Dave has said, "What do you want? " my response has unquestioningly been, "To be an actor again." Yes, I'm very good at teaching and I'd hate to give it up, I want to keep doing it if I can. Yes, I'm also quite good at artist relations and would be fabulous as someone's personal assistant or working for an arts organization. But deep down, who I really am is an actor. There is no question that I would give everything but Dave and the cats up in a heartbeat to be an actor again. Everything.
I've tried to explain this to people, how that art form is who I am more than any other--let's face it, everything else is a diversion, a way to keep me busy so I don't remember I'm not an actor right now--but it's difficult. The things I gain from that communion with the audience and the playwright and my fellow actors are intangible and hard to put into words. By the way, it's not about the applause. I'd just as soon not take a bow after a show. I feel like that's self-aggrandizing and I hate curtain calls.
I remember once someone telling me that my reason for being an actor--because I'm really, really bad at being not an actor--was a copout. Not so. I suck at life outside the theatre. I am depressed and cranky and self-abusive when I'm not working on or anticipating a production of some kind. All of my travel this past summer? An elaborate plan to keep me from remembering that I wasn't acting. And frankly, anyone who is good at being not an actor should probably pursue that with everything they have, because being an actor is really, really hard. Especially when you can't be one and it's all you are.
But how do you explain to people why it's the most important thing in your life when it seems like such a fluffy, silly little occupation? How do you explain the experience of being on stage to people who aren't interested in trying it? (I'm not condemning those people by any stretch of the imagination. There are a lot of things I'm not interested in trying that center my fellow human beings. I'm simply attempting to give voice to the struggles I have to explain this fire that consumes me to people who wisely don't wish to risk burning their fingers.)
Today, I found a description of performance that absolutely nails it. It's exactly what I feel when I'm out there. I'd just never had the words before. Yet there they were, in Russell Brand's memoir, My Booky Wook.
Before I get to the description, let me just say that I am an unapologetic Russell Brand fan. I couldn't figure out what the fuss was for a while. I mean, he looks like trouble, like a walking disaster of a very serious and heartbreaking kind. Also kind of unwashed. I just didn't get it. Why would so many women want to sleep with him? And then I saw him smile, and I thought, "Ah. Yes. Now I understand." And I've followed him as avidly as possible ever since.
So as soon as his book dropped here in the US, I bought it for my Kindle. And as I was reading this morning, I came across the following passage. It was so absolutely perfect, I called Dave immediately and read it to him too.
And then I walked out onto the stage for the first time in my life. The light. The light is so bright that all that remains is you and the darkness. You can feel the audience breathing. It’s like holding a gun or standing on a precipice and knowing you must jump. It feels slow and fast. It’s like dying and being born and fucking and crying. It’s like falling in love and being utterly alone with God; you taste your own mouth and feel your own skin and I knew I was alive and I knew who I was and that that wasn’t who I’d been up till then. I’d never been so far away but I knew I was home. “I know everything,” I thought. I knew I’d never leave and I never have.
Now do you see? How could I be anything else?
Posted by sally at 01:16 PM | Comments (3)
March 14, 2009
Spring Sunshine
This cat right here? Turns eighteen in two weeks. Amazing.
There isn't any sunshine out today. It's depressingly throw-yourself-under-a-bus-and-end-it-all grey here. But the sun has been shining the past couple of mornings. Which means early morning sunbeams. I'm assuming it's a latent survival skill, but our cats have amazing sunbeam radar. Because what's better than napping in a sunbeam?
Notice how she fills the sunbeam right to its edges?
And since I'm now on Spring Break and have NOTHING to do for the next ten days but be good to myself, I may just join them. Should the sun ever come out again.
Posted by sally at 10:11 AM
March 13, 2009
Dream Job
So I had a dream this morning that I was cast in a student film. I don't recall the plot, only that it was a fairly good role and could lead to better things. (I know, a student film. In Idaho. Still, that's how this industry works. You say yes to small things in hopes that they'll lead to big ones.)
Anyway, I'd been a little slack on my line-learning (bad actor!) and just before we were ready to shoot my scene, I felt like I finally had a handle on them. Which is when I discovered I had an old copy of the script and 15 minutes to learn my lines for a scene that was structurally the same but vastly different in terms of what my character actually said. So I sat down to work furiously at my lines.
Of course, not only was I then subject to all sorts of interruptions, people stopping to chat, having to move to a different spot, that kind of thing, but the old lines kept intruding themselves into the *new* lines. So I was trying to learn lines in chaos and getting confused about which were which. But I was doing my damndest. And of course worrying about how this whole fiasco was going to ruin my reputation.
Here's where it gets silly and dream logic rears its amorphous head. I kept trying to wake up. But every time I'd slip near consciousness, I'd yank myself back down into the dream because, dammit, I had to learn those lines.
If nothing else, this should give you a fairly clear sense of my work ethic.
Posted by sally at 10:40 AM
March 11, 2009
A Free Evening Ahead of Me
For the first time in several weeks, I have nothing to do. I mean, I have things to do, but absolutely no requirements of any sort. I have finished the grading and updated the gradebooks. I have written all of the letters of recommend. I don't yet have a script for Collected Stories, so I can't start learning my lines. I am not putting anything off until tomorrow, I am not supposed to be anyplace, I don't have anything to plan. I have a full, free evening ahead.
Granted, tomorrow I have 30+ midterms to grade, but since my students haven't taken them yet, I can't do anything related to that project. So I'm going to head my unencumbered butt home and do some art, I think.
May your evening be as peaceful as I hope mine is.
Posted by sally at 04:34 PM | Comments (1)
March 09, 2009
Happy... March?
(That's not fog, it's lots of little, tiny snowflakes.)
On Wednesday, we were all rejoicing because the snow was almost finally gone, the sidewalks were clear and the temps were in the balmy mid-40s range. On Thursday, there was snow. And much complaining. Someone remind me why I'm excited about going to live somewhere with more snow, more wind and lower temperatures than we get here?
Feeling a bit worse today than I did yesterday, though I'm now feeling VASTLY better than I did a few hours ago. I'm craving Ho-Ho's*, so I must be on the mend for sure. (I am not, by the way, going to EAT Ho-Ho's. Good God, that would be hideous.) It's about time I started actually wanting food. Since I have to actually teach tomorrow. And by teach, I of course mean spend half of the class period(s) finishing the film Bird and the other half supervising art in the classroom day. Not what I would call a strenuous set of activities.
You know what, though? Just the thought of it exhausts me. I think I need a(nother) nap.
*Horrifying sidebar here: Dave pukes for 12 hours, loses 5 pounds. I do the same thing, plus don't really eat for another 24 hours or so, and I GAIN 1/2 POUND. I beg your pardon??!!? I stepped on that fucking scale to feel better about myself, dammit, to have some impetus to get to the gym. Not to learn that I'm apparently able to generate fat from the air.
Posted by sally at 05:10 PM
March 08, 2009
Ugh. Bug.
Let's hear it for four-day weekends. Or two-day workweeks. Whichever you like. The best thing about them, I have to say, is that when you start feeling nasty on a Friday afternoon, you don't have to worry about being fit for anything until Tuesday morning.
I thought it was just a mild-ish bout of food poisoning. Until David started struggling with the same issues 24 hours later. Which means it's a bug I gave to him, and also to who knows how many other unsuspecting people in the last week.
Those of you who end up spending 12 hours or so barfing, I'm sorry. I had no idea I was even ill, much less contagious.
Be sure to stay hydrated. And get plenty of rest.
Posted by sally at 05:52 PM | Comments (1)
March 06, 2009
This Is What 41 Looks Like
Technically 41 and 1/2, since my birthday was roughly six months ago. This is the face of a 41 year-old woman who has never had cosmetic surgery or botox or fiddled in any way except for orthodontia and eye cream and hair color.
I was looking at myself in the mirror just now, and I realized that I like the way I look very much at this moment in time. I don't mind the wrinkles, I think they make me more interesting and attractive. They make me look like I know things. Interesting things that other people might want to know as well.
It's sad that because I'm an artist in the wrong industry, I'm going to be shaving six years off my age soon in order to get work. But for now, I'm okay with being 41. I think it suits me.
Posted by sally at 01:19 PM | Comments (6)
Taking the Day Off
I was going to do some more grading today, but I really want to make art. I haven't done that in a while, and my fingers are itching to get at it. Plus, it's icy cold outside, there's snow on the ground, I haven't had a day to myself in almost three weeks and the laundry pile could swallow a toddler.
I have to admit that despite the snow, it's a beautiful day. Bright and clear, and I really don't want to hole up in my office like I have for the past several days and grade stuff. I just don't want to do it. I want to enjoy the sunlight. And the cats. Who seem to be quite happy to have me around again.
And have I mentioned the pain? My body appears to be one large ache today. My head is pounding, my back hurts, even the muscles in my legs are stiff. That may be the result of entirely too much processed sugar yesterday (I ate a pint of Soy Delicious after dinner; no, I don't know what I was thinking), or it may be the unaddressed exhaustion of the last three weeks catching up with me. I have spent several evenings lying on the couch and reading/sleeping, but I've also spent my days running around like I always do, and this may be my body's way of saying, "You're done."
(It might also be dehydration. I don't have access to filtered water in my building--and believe me, the pipes are ooooold, you don't want to drink the water out of the tap--so I only have the water I bring in with me. Yesterday it was two litres, which just wasn't enough for the whole day, and there aren't any water dispensers in that building. That's right, the university's water is so bad that each department has a water cooler/dispenser. How's that for scary?) Anyway, I ache, which means I really really don't want to go anywhere. At this moment, I don't even want to think. Because that hurts too.
So I'm sitting here on the couch at 10:30, still in my pajamas, reading articles about Iceland's financial collapse and wondering when the ibuprofen will kick in so I can get up and take a shower. Only, I'm still yawning. A lot. And thinking that despite the nine hours of sleep I got last night, it might just be time for a nap.
I do have actual interesting things to say, I promise. I'm just waiting to be able to see through the headache so I can think clearly enough to write them.
Posted by sally at 11:08 AM | Comments (1)
March 02, 2009
Catching Up
On sleep. Now I need to catch up on the grading.
In other news, I lost a pound last week despite not getting any exercise and eating like a pig all week long. Though I did take a body percussion workshop that was dance-based and helped me wake up on Friday morning when I'd sort of hit the wall. Isn't it amazing how many calories running on adrenaline and not sleeping will burn?
(I also walked a little over five miles yesterday, because I wanted to actually get my heart rate up and get my body moving. Also because I wanted to make sure I would actually sleep. My day yesterday was pretty much sleep, eat, walk, eat, sleep, eat, sleep, get up and move from the couch to the bedroom, sleep.)
But, damn, what a great week. So great I'm tempted to make sure I have vacation time next year to do it all over again. And I think they might let me, because one of the people who comes in with John Clayton to oversee the operations of the festival told me on Saturday night/Sunday morning that he was really impressed with my work and that the artists I worked with felt respected and cared for.
That was nice to hear, because it was my main goal for the week, to take care of my artists and VIPs so they could focus on their own jobs and not worry about the extraneous stuff like rides and call times and hotel rooms, and being the compulsive fretter that I am, I was concerned that I hadn't managed to do that as well as I could have. As I said to someone on Saturday night during a period of relatively high stress, "Don't worry about me and how I'm coping. As long as all of the people on the other side of that curtain are happy, I'm fine." That curtain being the thing that separates stage and audience from backstage area. They mostly were, so I was okay.
Right. Time to walk downtown for some lunch and grading followed by a meeting followed by grading followed by dinner. After which, I'm really hoping the grading will be done so I can hit the gym and then maybe do some artwork of my own before going to bed early. Or at the very least, on time.
I'll post a bit later about some of the wonderful people I met and the realizations I came to this week.
Posted by sally at 12:46 PM | Comments (3)
March 01, 2009
Zzzzzz... Zzzzzz... Zzzzzzzz... Zzzzz...
Sally is unable to blog at this point in time as she is the next best thing to unconscious, whereas unconsciousness would be the best thing. So Sally is going to put the laptop down and pass out.
Sooo tired. Back later.
Posted by sally at 09:46 AM | Comments (1)
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